Bonus:
Ranged thus for battle on the sacred plain...
Summary: On a plain that is sacred, they're ranged for battle.
Commentary:
Full text:
As a lit critic, I have concerns about four proper nouns in the first four lines.
On the other hand, I'm a big fan of the epic poetry tradition of opening with an active call for the story/dialogue. I like knowing where the story is coming from (I'll watch any trash if you change it to found footage). It makes it feel more believable, and helps you to understand the world. More on this tomorrow, actually.
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